I need out of this abusive relationship.

[cabbageman13]

My ex gf moved in with me 2 years ago when our daughter was born and it has since been hell. She's an excellent mother, but she is extremely messy and almost twice my age meaning we have little in common and I'm always cleaning up after coming home from work. I do all the laundry and cook and she doesn't even drive. Once again, last week, I came home from work and she was drunk and out of the blue started hitting me. It really hurt this time. I'm tired of being physically abused. It is sad and embarassing and I know I deserve better. I have never hit her back and won't. Next I could barely afford my house before she moved in and she refuses to get a job or help with the finances at all, the ship is sinking fast. She always has an excuse when it comes to applying for a job and often she will throw tantrums if I try to talk about anything important. I'm tired of living with a spoiled child. My house is not selling either and so I might just rent it all out or walk away with a significant loss, meaning both of us will have to find a place to live... Anything seems better then this. I love my daughter very much and she is doing very well, but I refuse to let her grow up in this hectic environement. It seems whenever I am home mamabear has nothing better to do then yell and then emotionally and physically abuse me. I do my fair share of parenting and more, not to mention pay for everything. Ex-gf for sure didn't have a dad, I think subconsciously she thinks I am sometimes. I've tried taking her to therapy, and she did for a year but doesn't want to go back because somehow this is all "my fault". I can't win.

Ex-gf is doing better since she last abused me...only because I took my kid to my parents (as it is a safe place) and they have been coming over more to ensure she is improving her behaviour and life. She is totally uncompliant and is making seperation extremely difficult. She refuses to look for a place to live or get a job. Furthermore, due to her alcoholism I can't send her money fully knowing she will spend it on the kid...i cant trust her and I'm stuck. I don't have money for a lawyer and if I take full custody she has threatened suicide. Yeahhhhhhh. Please help.

[Brett]

Getting a divorce can be a very complicated and stressful time, not to mention expensive. Ending a marriage carries with it legal implications, property division and support and care of your children. When making the decision to divorce your wife, it is important to be prepared for anything that may come up.

One of the first things you need to do is find a good lawyer. Do not settle with the first person you have interviewed or go with the recommendation of someone else. You must be very careful in choosing your attorney, especially men, since most judgments are made in favor of women. Most lawyers just do not care about you personally and more than likely do not want you and your wife to settle you divorce amicably. They will get their money whether or not you get what you want out of the divorce.

If you are expecting any private mail, be sure to obtain a new post box. Store your financial documents where your wife or her lawyer cannot reach them because they will be sure to use anything against you if they find it.

Do not lose communication with your wife. This way you will know what is happening on her side of the divorce, and you may even come to an agreement and settle the divorce amicably. If you end the communication, things have a greater chance of going bad, and even worse.

Make sure that you do not place your children in the middle of the divorce process. Talk to them and let them know that the divorce is not their fault, and that they should not feel guilty about anything. Remember that no matter what happens, you are still their father. Even though it is shown that divorce courts often favor women and your wife may be working to keep you away from your kids, do not give up trying to prove yourself and the significance of your role as father to your children.

Although the divorce process can be extremely aggravating and stressful, it is very important for you to stay calm and try not to overwork yourself. Even if your wife might be an aggressive person, do not let her get to you and avoid arguments as best as you can. When divorcing your wife, one of them most important things can be maintaining your sanity.

You may be losing the relationship you had with your wife, but it is very important to remember that you have friends and family and they can be your support system during this tough time. Try not to ignore them; they just want to help you. Talking to them and letting out what you are keeping inside will definitely benefit you and make you feel better, even though you are a man and may not want to admit to any of that!

[Vivian]

Going through a divorce is one of the hardest things some people will ever have to do. It can be an extremely stressful and painful time. And still, there are those who choose to go through the process without any professional legal assistance. They may see it as a way to save money, or they might figure they will be able to maneuver through the case by themselves. However, there are many reasons why it's better to hire a divorce attorney.

An Emotional Shield

The dissolving of marriage, no matter how long a couple has been together, is usually a very emotional episode for both parties. This process is especially true if children when involving children. People who don't have a lawyer by their side are left to communicate directly with either their estranged spouse or their spouse's legal counsel. This can set them up for unnecessary arguments and disputes, further igniting their internal pain. A divorce attorney can serve as a buffer, helping to protect their clients from this type of communication. Professional counsel can also provide an objective perspective by notifying their client when they're unreasonable. It's sometimes hard for people to realize they're wrong when dealing with the emotional pain of a hard breakup.

Ensuring Fairness

A divorce attorney can also help to make sure their clients receive fair monetary settlements, as well as child support, if necessary. Lawyers attend school for many years and even participate in continuing education programs to stay abreast of ever-changing laws. If a professional has to pursue consistent learning opportunities, it's safe to say that the average person would be at a disadvantage if he or she were to go at it alone. Therefore, lawyers are the best bet when it comes to getting the most out of settlements and monetary agreements.

Order in the Court

Some people have never stepped foot inside of a courtroom. The extent of their experience doesn't extend past a few law enforcement based television shows. This isn't to say that they wouldn't be able to cope inside of a courtroom. However, their lack of experience could make them quite uncomfortable and put them at a disadvantage, especially if their estranged spouse hired a lawyer.

There are certain courtroom rules and etiquette that must be followed to make the process go as smoothly as possible. A divorce attorney helps take a lot of the pressure off of a client's shoulders. They also ensure that their clients aren't breaking any courtroom rules.

Pursuing litigation without a divorce attorney may seem like a good idea for those looking to save money. Some people may believe they are capable of handling the situation themselves. The truth is, however, there is much more that comes along with a divorce than paying a fee and signing some paperwork. Proper legal counsel can serve as a bright spot, even in the midst of an unfortunate and painful situation.