She ended our marriage that easy.

[brandon]

One afternoon, I was cooking a foreign cuisine for lunch when my wife called me from our room. I stood up and headed to her while leaving my phone at the couch. The moment I stepped inside the room, I heard her sobs and I wonder why. I stepped closer, sat beside her and wiped her tears away. I asked her why but she just shook her head. I let her cry in my shoulders until she felt relaxed. Few minutes after, she started talking. I faced her as she tried to gain composure. I asked her what happened and she said she wants a divorce. I wasn’t able to respond. My eyes went wide. I asked why. She said she doesn’t love me anymore. I told her that whatever problem we had can still be fixed and that divorce is not a solution. I told her how much I love her but she seemed deaf to my words. It seemed like her decision was final. She stood up and said, “Please make it happen.” I didn’t know what to think when she said those words. I love her but she’s not happy with me anymore. Should I let her go or maybe try to work this out? How could she end our marriage that easy?

[David]

Relationships, especially marriages, have issues sometimes. When these issues get out of hand, it can feel like one, or both, spouses fall out of love with one another. When your marriage is failing, you may become depressed and feel like there is absolutely nothing you can do but watch it happen. When you feel like your wife doesn't love you anymore, there are things that you can do to win her love back, and to save your marriage.

The longer a couple is married, the more comfortable they get with each other. The phrase 'for two to live as one' takes on a whole new meaning. The couple completes each other. Without their spouse, a person wouldn't know what to do with themselves. The more comfortable you get, unfortunately, the less you try to make each other happy. Of course, you want each other to be happy - you love each other dearly. But you don't take the time or make the effort to compliment each other, or do nice things for each other anymore.

As we grow older, we change. So does our marriage. These changes can be subtle, and we adjust gradually to them, or they can be drastic, and we are jolted by them.

Many marriages have a lot of stress. Financial worries, activities with the kids, in-law issues, not having time to spend with each other. These are just some examples of the stresses that marriages face. When one or both of you is under so much stress, it seems impossible to be happy. Some people deal with this stress by talking about it. Some people keep it all inside, and it eventually build up until that person just can't take it anymore.

When that happens, a spouse may close themselves off from everyone and everything around them, including their spouse. This causes you to think that your wife doesn't love you anymore, and causes even more stress for you.

It's not that she doesn't love you, but it may be that she can't deal with everything that is going on. She may be afraid that your marriage is failing, or she may be depressed. Both of these will make it seem like she doesn't love you. She DOES love you, or she wouldn't have married you. If you have been married for a long time, do you think she would have stayed with you for so long, if she didn't love you?

A lot of things can make it seem like your spouse doesn't love you. The best thing you can do is to talk to her. Tell her how you feel. She probably never even thought that you feel this way.

[Judith]

Well if your wife wants a divorce and you don't, obviously it's a tough situation. And if the two of you have any sort of pattern of arguing, you might be thinking that you just need to get her to listen to you and you can work through it. But the common outcome in a situation where the wife wants a divorce and the husband doesn't, is that the wife is DONE listening. She is done trying to make the marriage work. And she wants a divorce because she is ready to move on and start over. She is done struggling. So how do you convince her to give it another go if she is through with you and your marriage?

One of the worst things you can do at this point is argue with your wife over the divorce. If you threaten her and tell her you'll never give it to her, it will just make her want it more. She will want the one thing that you're saying she can't have. This will cause a power struggle -- and really, she can get the divorce if she wants one. The court will give it to her, whether you want it or not. So it's useless to argue with her.

One of the best things you can do right now is to agree with your wife about the divorce. Now, that doesn't mean you are going out tomorrow and signing divorce papers. What it means is that you are removing the argument. You want your wife to see that you are listening to her. You want her to feel like you understand what she is doing. She needs to feel validated. And even if it goes against everything you know, think, and feel, you have to show your wife that you are paying attention. Divorce is never easy, and even if your wife seems dead set on getting one, she still has mixed feelings. Anything you can do to help her have positive emotions about you and your marriage will give her doubts about the divorce. And that is what you want if you want her to help you save your marriage.