Tweet
Married for more than 5, been together for more than 10 years. He has a way bigger sex drive than i, especially after i had a few kids, things just got busy. And i more often than not i didnt feel in the mood. Ive been telling him just go do someone else and leave me alone. At first it was like that. And then it was like a go do whatever fulfills your need... so he verifies and i say yea just go for it.
Very recently he opens up and has been telling me that hes been physically intimate with one woman from his work. And hes told me that he has already established boundaries with her in that his family and wife will come first and whatever he has with her is nothing more than sexual satisfaction. She, according to him has mentioned and consented to having sex, they have not yet gone all the way . And i honestly feel happy for him. I ask him for gorry details and he provides without hesitation. And in fact it really really tursn me on. My sex drive historically has been in spurts, prettyy nonexistant for a long time, but when i get into it i will be wanting it 24/7. Thing is, i’ve been sort of testing the waters about permission for ME to get with other men, and i feel there is less of a go ahead given to me. The reason that im hearing is that ‘well your sex drive is less, so if you go have sex with other men, you might just be wanting someone else, instead’. Also, he also did mention once that ‘well, it would only be fair that you did if i got permission’. I avoided his question of whether i had someone in mind for myself, because it feels just so sudden and surreal that all this is happening and that i’m actually ok and enthusiastic about him getting some. Keep in mind that it Has greatly improved my and his together sex life. I also have one thought at the back of my mind that maybe there really isnt someone else and hes just making this sexcapade up because he knows that it will trigger me, in a good way.
Im afraid to tell him that i may have someone in mind that i might want to try, but I feel that my permission is not the same level as the permission i have given to him.
We’ve been talking about this other woman lately and how we likely will have a threesome with her but i suggested that if he really wanted to get the most of the experience he might feel more at ease or accomplished if he has sex with her by himself. I really do love him and cherish what we have together and dont want to lose what we have. We have been extremely openly talking about this specific topic for quite some time now.
i guess my question, is whether or not i should clarify my own permission to have sex with another man or just go for it? I mean, after all, my permission to him was really just twice and in retrospect i didnt really know what i was getting into until now after the fact that he has been very very physical with another woman. And i have verified my consent with him and gave him a giant blinking neon green light. I feel i want the same thing, but feel uneasy to bring it up for fear of ruining all that we have worked for.
The answer is, yes, i do have someone whom i am attracted to and would be interested in ‘taking in some benefits’ with this friend. But i cant help but be at least slightly skeptical that it might just be a test of my faithfulness to him...
Very recently he opens up and has been telling me that hes been physically intimate with one woman from his work. And hes told me that he has already established boundaries with her in that his family and wife will come first and whatever he has with her is nothing more than sexual satisfaction. She, according to him has mentioned and consented to having sex, they have not yet gone all the way . And i honestly feel happy for him. I ask him for gorry details and he provides without hesitation. And in fact it really really tursn me on. My sex drive historically has been in spurts, prettyy nonexistant for a long time, but when i get into it i will be wanting it 24/7. Thing is, i’ve been sort of testing the waters about permission for ME to get with other men, and i feel there is less of a go ahead given to me. The reason that im hearing is that ‘well your sex drive is less, so if you go have sex with other men, you might just be wanting someone else, instead’. Also, he also did mention once that ‘well, it would only be fair that you did if i got permission’. I avoided his question of whether i had someone in mind for myself, because it feels just so sudden and surreal that all this is happening and that i’m actually ok and enthusiastic about him getting some. Keep in mind that it Has greatly improved my and his together sex life. I also have one thought at the back of my mind that maybe there really isnt someone else and hes just making this sexcapade up because he knows that it will trigger me, in a good way.
Im afraid to tell him that i may have someone in mind that i might want to try, but I feel that my permission is not the same level as the permission i have given to him.
We’ve been talking about this other woman lately and how we likely will have a threesome with her but i suggested that if he really wanted to get the most of the experience he might feel more at ease or accomplished if he has sex with her by himself. I really do love him and cherish what we have together and dont want to lose what we have. We have been extremely openly talking about this specific topic for quite some time now.
i guess my question, is whether or not i should clarify my own permission to have sex with another man or just go for it? I mean, after all, my permission to him was really just twice and in retrospect i didnt really know what i was getting into until now after the fact that he has been very very physical with another woman. And i have verified my consent with him and gave him a giant blinking neon green light. I feel i want the same thing, but feel uneasy to bring it up for fear of ruining all that we have worked for.
The answer is, yes, i do have someone whom i am attracted to and would be interested in ‘taking in some benefits’ with this friend. But i cant help but be at least slightly skeptical that it might just be a test of my faithfulness to him...
Comment