Honest answers, please

[lela brown]

Can I ask any ladies, have you greatly desired to have anal sex with your spouse/boyfriend, but just couldn’t manage it?

I’ve always been turned on by the thought of anal sex. Tried it once with a boyfriend (didn’t happen), then somewhat with my first husband. This began with ME asking (I wasn’t coerced), but we never really did make much progress because of pain. I finally said “no more”. Years later we divorced and I was with several guys in that period, but the subject never came up. When I met my present husband, we had a very hot relationship and I asked about it. Not sure if he’d ever had it (we were in our late 40’s) but we tried all sorts of things to make it happen. Different lubes, sex toys, fingering, advice columns, watching porn, etc. I could take him in, but could not stand the in/out motion of intercourse. Painful! I remember climaxing once with him inside me (keeping still) when I was straddling him, and it was powerful! I don’t remember how we finished him, but I’m sure it wasn’t what he’d hoped for!

To give him credit, he’s never nagged me about doing it that way….he’s very understanding and he knows I love fingering and playing with toys there. We’re both in our 60’s now and have slowed down a lot due to health reasons, but I still wish this was something I could do with him. I wonder if it’s just too late? My question is are there are any other woman who really WANT this kind of sex but just found the in/out motion of intercourse too painful back there? Thanks for your honest answers!

[bunnyhabit]

i have never interviewed a girl that wanted or enjoyed anal sex and I certainly do not. Most girls absorb the pain to satisfy their SO craving for anal sex the friction from the insertion and withdrawal tends to be most painful. I find copious amounts of K-Y jelly reduces the irritations as well as repeated incidents of anal sex reduced the pain significantly size . of penis length and thickness significantly affects levels of pain. my current SO has anal sex often with me and the pain is now at the very bearable stage. i don't think I will ever enjoy it.

[lela brown]

bunnyhabit, thanks for your frank response! Can I ask, why do you allow it, if you don't enjoy it at all? Is it a "make or break" issue with your SO? I'm curious too....how often is often?

[bunnyhabit]

a relationship cannot be all pluses and no negatives. a good relationship is a balanced relationship. some clients brag about never arguing as a great accomplishment when in fact it means their SO is distant and unfeeling a bad sign. my SO and I fight often which is healthy there are things my guy does that I know he doesn't enjoy like shopping and visiting relatives with me. I believe it is a important thing to him so I yield to his desires to maintain mutual respect for each others feelings. as noted after two years the pain is minimal with proper preparation I have even managed to orgasm a few times while he was backdooring me which made him super happy and thankful.

[Bella]

I'm experience similar issue with anal sex. So, I decided not to try it again because it's just a painful experience for me.

[TrueBlueGal]

YES you can absolutely enjoy anal sex! If it is something you are interested in and the thought of it turns you on, I would suggest that you start small, say with a finger and try and relax with it still at first, and work up to a slight in & out movement and then once comfortable with that, work up through a series of larger toys that are designed just for that area. It can be a fun and enjoyable intimate experience for you two exploring this, working your way up to be able to accommodate him. But yes there are also times you may want to try it, but your body isn't warmed up enough or ready and it can be very painful and just isn't going to happen! But if you take your time and do this over a series of sessions, it will get easier and easier and your body will be more prepared and you can actually enjoy it!