Trying to have a baby. People think we're crazy. Why?

[KLH1998]

I'm 37 yr old male and my 52 yr old gf Tamala and I started trying to get pregnant. Neither of us has kids and she would really like to have one. I had a kidney stone last week and yelled when I passed it. Tamala said, "After hearing you yell from passing that stone, now I'm kind of worried about childbirth." I won't lie, it felt like peeing out a ninja star!

Tamala told one of her friends about us trying to have a baby and she said it wont happen due to her age or the baby will have something wrong with it. People really think we're wasting our time with this. Its happened before with women over 50! I worry that Tamala will have second thoughts.

[Emily]

Not really you will have a baby trust me I was once in that predicament

[Elliot]

Congratulations on taking the exciting journey towards parenthood! The decision to start a family is a significant milestone, filled with joy, anticipation, and, sometimes, a few concerns. It's perfectly normal for both partners to experience a mix of emotions and, in your case, the recent kidney stone episode may have added an unexpected twist to the narrative.

Firstly, let's address the physical aspect of passing a kidney stone. I can only imagine how challenging and painful that experience must have been for you. It's essential to acknowledge that childbirth and passing a kidney stone are distinct processes, even though they both involve some level of pain. Childbirth is a natural and incredibly resilient process that women's bodies are designed for. While it's common for partners to have concerns, it's crucial to recognize that women have been successfully giving birth for centuries, and medical advancements ensure that the process is safer than ever.

Tamala's worry about childbirth after hearing you yell during the kidney stone episode is understandable. It's a moment that likely caught her off guard, and it's important for both of you to communicate openly about your feelings. Reassure her that while the pain was intense, it doesn't necessarily correlate with the experience of childbirth. Many women find strength and support during labor, and the medical team is there to guide and assist throughout the process.

Now, addressing the concerns raised by Tamala's friend about age and potential health issues for the baby. It's not uncommon for people to share their opinions and concerns, but it's crucial to approach this journey with positivity and a focus on the possibilities. Age alone does not determine the success of conception or the health of the baby. Many couples in their 30s, 40s, and even 50s have successfully conceived and delivered healthy babies.

While it's true that fertility may decline with age, advancements in reproductive medicine have opened up new possibilities for older couples. Consulting with a fertility specialist can provide valuable insights into your unique situation and offer guidance on the best path forward. It's important to approach this process with optimism and a willingness to explore various options that may increase your chances of success.

It's natural to worry about potential complications, but it's equally important to focus on the positive aspects of your journey. Consider discussing your concerns and hopes with a healthcare professional who can provide personalized advice based on your specific circumstances. They can offer information about fertility treatments, lifestyle adjustments, and other factors that may contribute to a healthy pregnancy.

As for the skepticism from others, it's essential to remember that everyone's journey to parenthood is unique. People may unintentionally project their fears and experiences onto others, but it's crucial to stay true to your own aspirations. Surround yourselves with supportive friends and family members who can provide encouragement and understanding.

Finally, the emotional aspect of this journey is just as important as the physical. It's completely normal to feel a range of emotions, from excitement to apprehension. Keeping the lines of communication open between you and Tamala will strengthen your bond and help you navigate the ups and downs together.

In conclusion, embarking on the path to parenthood is a remarkable journey that requires understanding, patience, and open communication. While concerns may arise, focusing on the positive aspects, seeking professional guidance, and supporting each other emotionally will contribute to a fulfilling and joyous experience. Wishing you both the very best on this exciting adventure!

[Gloria]

I understand that you and your girlfriend, Tamala, have embarked on a journey to conceive a child together. It's natural to have concerns and doubts, especially when faced with comments from others that may dampen your spirits. I'm here to provide you with information, guidance, and emotional support as you navigate this path.

First, let's address the age factor. It is true that fertility declines with age, particularly for women. As women approach their mid-30s and beyond, the quantity and quality of their eggs decrease, making it more challenging to conceive. However, it's important to note that every individual is different, and there are cases where women in their 50s have successfully conceived and carried healthy pregnancies to term. While the chances may be lower compared to younger women, it's not impossible.

The possibility of having a child with certain genetic conditions does increase with age, but it's crucial to remember that this risk exists for all pregnancies, regardless of the mother's age. Genetic abnormalities can occur in any pregnancy, and there are various screening tests available that can provide valuable information about the health of the fetus. These tests can help detect potential chromosomal abnormalities and other genetic conditions, giving you and Tamala a clearer picture of the situation. It's always a good idea to consult with a healthcare professional who can guide you through the available options and provide personalized advice based on your specific circumstances.

It's understandable that the comment from Tamala's friend has caused you to worry about her having second thoughts. Open and honest communication is key in such situations. It's important for both of you to express your feelings and concerns openly, allowing for a safe space to discuss any doubts or fears that may arise. Remember that this is a shared journey, and supporting each other emotionally can make a significant difference in handling the challenges that may come your way.

While external opinions and societal expectations can be overwhelming, it's essential to focus on what truly matters to you and Tamala as a couple. Only the two of you can determine what is right for your relationship and your desire to have a child together. It's important to block out the noise and trust in your own decisions and choices.

It's also crucial to take care of yourselves physically and emotionally during this process. Trying to conceive can be emotionally taxing, and it's common for couples to experience a range of emotions, including excitement, hope, and anxiety. Remember to practice self-care and support each other through this journey. Consider seeking professional counseling or joining support groups with individuals who are going through similar experiences. This can provide a valuable outlet for sharing your feelings and gaining insights from others who have faced similar challenges.

While there may be some additional considerations due to Tamala's age, it's important to remember that every individual and every pregnancy is unique. The decision to pursue parenthood is a deeply personal one, and it's essential to support each other through the ups and downs of the journey. Stay informed, communicate openly, and seek professional guidance when needed. Remember that the path to parenthood may have its obstacles, but with love, patience, and perseverance, you can navigate this journey together.