Planning a Renewal of Vows for My Husband And I

[Elizabeth]

I am helping a friend plan her wedding also in the beginning of planning a renewal of vows for my husband and I. (We were engaged a week before we got married so it was small without many family members so for our 10 year anniversary we are doing a renewal of vows so that we can have family and friends with us which was all we were missing the first time around.

[Judith]

The renewal sounds so fun! What a great idea!

[Roy]

A Renewal of Vows ceremony is generally something that couples start thinking about when the 10th, 25th or even 50th anniversary looms. And that can be a wonderful experience and source of great joy and celebration for everyone present.

Renewing your vows means that you revisit them. You examine your marriage, and how it is doing. You look at what you promised on your wedding day. You celebrate the success of your marriage. And you say to one another: "My choice was a good one. I'm glad I made it. I would do it again in a heartbeat."

These are very powerful affirmations. Made in the presence of family and friends they are a celebration. Maybe even a little bit of showing off. In a world where half of all marriages end in divorce yours is making it. Good reason to celebrate.

But even more powerful can be a private renewal of vows. Taking time out of your busy lives to focus on your marriage, on each other to revisit those promises and the joy that you felt on your wedding day provides nourishment for your ongoing marriage.

The process of developing a renewal of vows ceremony is a very enriching one if approached mindfully.

So, pick a day - once a year on your anniversary, or even better, once a month on the day on the day of the month that you met, got engaged, got married. The first time use the time as a planning opportunity. Consider the structure and content of your ceremony. Develop an outline. Perhaps even have a professional celebrant/ officiant work with you on this one.

Then regularly set time aside, open your ceremony and recommit yourselves to your vows, adding to them to reflect your maturing relationship if you wish.