What To Do When What You're Doing With Women ISN'T Working

[Caleb]

I have gone out and approached over 10,000 women last year alone and have done so more or less since my first bootcamp with a guy called [withheld] in Europe in 2015.

I have written over 10,000 letters to women on online dating using [another withheld]'s material.

I'm 28, a nurse, and studying to become a biologist. Since my material situation is not great as a student, and neither is my looks--I hope it really is as PUAs keep claiming, that lacking the above will not be a major factor for most women.

I still have to learn how to "kiss-close" a woman even though I lean in on high notes during interactions and if the woman pulls back, I wait, and go for it again later again.

I just wonder how many years does it take to get this right, normally?

Last summer I took another bootcamp at a dating company called [yet another withheld] and again I was asked to walk up to women and talk to them.

I find that very easy, but from there on I got no instructions, so again I talked to a lot of people including women, but I never experienced any attraction.

Have you some advice other than keep doing what I'm doing, or is it just that in the end it really is a numbers game? If so, I must be pretty close to a breakthrough!

[Brett]

What's up, Caleb?

It sounds like you're ready to end the frustration and find some real answers.

First of all, let me reassure you that success with women is certainly not a matter of simply trying harder. And I promise you that attracting high quality women isn't a "numbers game".

Guys who tend to attract women tend to attract MORE women. Guys who fail to do so tend to continue in failure.

There's more to life than pickup, and you will never, ever succeed at getting women to genuinely like you with techniques alone, no matter how many more tens of thousands of times you try what already isn't working.

Similarly, you'll never, ever be able to cut and paste a woman who's profile you see online into your life.

I'm sorry you've spent your resources over the past few years on that sort of stuff, but "kiss closing" isn't the actual goal.

Getting control over your dating life and being a chooser is. Kissing women becomes an obvious afterthought at that point.

And that's true even if you're trying to "get laid", so bear in mind that what I'm talking about is irrespective of lifestyle choice.

What works when it comes to creating genuine, natural attraction tends to do so whether you're looking for women for a fling or for a long-term relationship.

Why? Because women are human beings and they will generally not respond to PUA tactics any more than anyone with even the slightest amount of common sense will respond to being "closed" by a cheesy salesman with a product nobody wants.

If you want a real, live woman to adore you, you've got to deserve what you want.

Pressing the "easy button" in terms of tricks, tactics or "quick fixes" will at best land you "easy" women (read, women with low self-esteem and therefore low standards).

And even THEN, the overall "success" rate leaves a lot to be desired.

On the other hand, what's amazing to most guys is that when you become a man who attracts high quality women, you can actually get most of the "easy" ones to be intrigued by you also.

If you think about it, that shouldn't really come as too big a surprise.

It's just that you won't feel particularly compelled to have them around when the higher quality ones are available to you.

Were you to take just the next three or four months to become the kind of man women want, it really will take a fraction of the time that learning and trying all the pickup artist stuff has taken you thus far.

Isn't that ironic? Searching for the ever elusive ultimate trick with women is almost ALWAYS more time-consuming than becoming a better man who attracts better women as a direct result.

And if for some reason that logic doesn't compute, look at it this way.

You're in your mid forties, an age where people of late teens to early-twenties should be able to look up to you as a father figure.

Moreover, you're in a profession where caring about human beings is the primary goal. Why not stay true to yourself here and be that same kind of leader and protector when in the company of women who attract you?

It'll be attractive to them also, trumping your looks and/or financial condition--whatever that condition is, for what it's worth, favorable or otherwise.

You wouldn't seek to "close" people who look up to you or who come to you for care, so why treat the women in your life with any less respect?

After all, one of them just might become very, very important to you someday, right?

It's always, always, ALWAYS (times infinity) better to be an authentic man who is confident, masculine as women define it, able to make a woman feel safe and comfortable and--best of all--has strong character that qualifies you for a healthy, happy long-term relationship.

And believe me, even if you really don't want a serious relationship with a woman right now, you may some day.

It's also a great luxury to be able to choose not only which women you want,but what kind of relationship you'd like to have with them.

[Caleb]

Thank you Brett, good advice!